Thursday, 8 November 2007

Not so good...

I just can't get it together...

The evening I found out about mum (she's ok by the way) I got a call from my sis in law saying that a friend of ours was hit by a train and killed.

I have not been able to focus on anything but that until the funeral yesterday and I have subsequently put on some weight- I just have not been thinking about my food at all and weighed in at 87kgs this morning :(...

My head is in a bad place. I have spent some time thinking about whether I should continue with this challenge considering I probably wont do as well as I would have hoped and then be disappointed. I am going on holidays for a week and we are then moving house- then it's my birthday and I just can't see myself training enough. The food- I know I can do... it will take hard work. But I just don't know about the 6 days a week training.

What do you think? Should I focus on eating well and training for the triathlon and ditch Body 4 Life for now?? I think it's a great program but just don't think I have it together enough right now...

I'm interested to hear your feedback...

Death is so hard...

11 of you love me enough to comment...:

Brooke said...

Oh Ash *hugs* I'm so sorry you've been going through such a crappy time lately. I'm here if you ever need to vent darl.

As for Body for Life... well, think about it this way. Come January, which are you going to regret more: putting off B4L, or sticking with it and losing some fat in spite of everything you have coming up? I've always admired your determination Ash and I don't think putting it off is like you at all. It's perfectly normal to put off things when you're going through such a rough patch as you have, but won't you feel so much better if you throw yourself back into it and get those endorphins going? :)

xoxo

Jess said...

Hey Ash.

Big, BIG hugs chicky. Death really is so hard, I don't handle it well at all so my heart really goes out to you.

Re. B4L, I guess it depends on whether or not you will beat yourself up about it if you keep going with it but aren't happy with the results.

If it was me I'd probably pull out of the B4L and just concentrate on your tri training without having to worry about how much weight you're losing each week. But that's just me.

Whatever you decide just remember to be kind to yourself because you really need to be taking care of yourself now more than ever.

xox

AlleyCat said...

Hi Ash, deepest sympathies for your loss. I think Brooke & Jess both have valid points, I don't know that much about the B4L program, but can you do it without looking at the scale as the biggest measure for your efforts? Best of luck with what ever you choose to do. Take Care. XOXO

Rachael said...

Hey Ash,
So sorry that you keep getting bad news about people you care about...
In relation to b4l, just keep at it- use it as a framework for doing regular exercise and eating properly. The time is going to pass anyway, and you do want to get fitter over that time, so just keep at it. Even if you lose 5 kilos, or 2 kilos in the 12 weeks, that's better than nothing, and nothing is what you will get if you stop. Just keep at it, but if you miss a day, don't worry; pick up the next day and keep going!

Jadey 0:-) said...

Oh Ash I am so sorry. I don't "do" death either. I fall apart at the weakest link to it.

Maybe dont put yourself under the pressure of completing the challenge. Perhaps call EAS Australia and talk to Tim about continuing vs postponing? He is a god send and has helped me greatly.

If you can - get to fitness expo this weekend for a boost of motivation.

Oh and Tim will be on the EAS stand to talk to too. xoxoxox

Kek said...

Ashlee, I'm sorry you've had such a rough time. There's nothing more difficult to deal with than the death of someone you care about.

BUT think about this: there is no perfect time to do a challenge. There will never be a 12 week period where life just conveniently stops so you can spend all your time concentrating on preparing food and training. Every single person faces obstacles - it's called a CHALLENGE for a reason.

Sometimes you need to be a bit flexible and modify things to work around circumstances. But don't you EVER quit. There is always a way around any obstacle if you really want this badly enough.

Brooke made a really valid observation. Think about how you'll be feeling on Day 84. Will you be standing there looking back, proud of yourself, knowing that you did your absolute best under trying circumstances? Or will you be hanging your head, sighing and wishing that you'd stuck with it?

Your choice. Will you let this crush you, or will you shrug it off and bounce back stronger than ever? What would your friend want you to do?

I'll email you something...

Miss Beck said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

In this time of sadness I believe you need this training for three reasons

1/ to get out and escape from your thoughts if only for an hour a day. That will benefit you AND your sweet family.

2/ To keep the routine and discipline momentum going. Baby, even if you are only doing it without breaking a sweat, it will keep you in a healthy frame of mind.

3/ What would your friend think? Do you think they'd be looking down from heaven saying "Yes, please give up that is the most respectful way to grieve me" No, they'd be pushing you and trying to give you strength.

My advice, is to ask for an hour alone. Go somewhere you can be alone and at one with yourself and your spirit. Ask outloud for the strength you need to keep pushing through.

Keep it up now, if only blindly, cause in three, four or five weeks time, you will be saying what a saving grace your exercise was for your grieving process.

Just my thoughts, I hope I havent offended you.

Linda said...

Hey Ash - so sorry to hear about the death of your friend.

I say keep going and do your best, at least the training will give you something else to focus on.

You'll have to let me know when you're moving.

Rachel said...

I agree with everyone else Ash, keep up the B4L as it will give you an escape from your grieving (badly put - sorry).

It doesn't matter that you may not lose as much as you thought at the end of it because you will still have lost much more than when you started.......know what I mean???

Good luck with any decision you decide to make.

Annie said...

Hi Ash,
*mega big hugs* sorry to hear you've been going through such a difficult time. I don't handle death very well either and I would have gone off the rails had I been in your shoes.
But I also think that it will do you good to stay with the B4L challenge. You might just surprise yourself! And some normalcy might be us what you need to get back into the swing of things.
Keep us posted, we're with you all the way.

Kate said...

Hi Ash... I forgot to bookmark the address of your new blog and just hunted through beck's blog to find it's link she left on hers.
So sorry to read about the death of your friend, how horrible for you.

I'm glad your mum is okay. Whatever you decide to do with your challenge is up to you. Don't be too harsh on yourself. You've come so far and are looking HOT HOT HOT! A 12 week challenge doesn't have to equate to -12kg (or whatever figure you had in mind!). Just stay on track with your eating and get out and exercise. It will give you time to process your thoughts and deal with the other things coming your way (like moving).
Thinking of you, Kate x