KFC and butterfly cakes....

That's what is being served at my work for lunch today.... grrr.... It's someone's farewell....I will be a good girl and eat my tuna, salad and pumpernicle.

Pushing yourself feels bad.... but when it's done it feels great!

I felt un-motivated again today. However I have realised through many years of trying to get fit and stay fit, motivation is not going to get me where I want to be.

One of the big differences between those who achieve their goals and those who don't is the ability to simply push on and do it without over-thinking things and without letting their lack of motivation get them down.

Tonight I went to the gym as it was part of my plan- simple. I did 10 minutes on the bike at level 5 to warm up. I then did abs and back (went fairly hard), then spent the most gruelling 30 minutes on the treadmill. I went with my gym buddy and we both really needed each other tonight. We did interval running but half way through I changed to straight high incline walking and ended up burning more calories than when I do intervals!

I felt like giving up 15 minutes into our cardio but I didn't and that feels fantastic! Nothing like some endorphines to brighten the mood!

Yummy thing alert!!
For lunch today I had a mountain bread wrap filled with sundried tomato and basil tuna, grated carrot, crunchy mixed lettuce and spicy hummus. It was absolutely beautiful. Tomorrow I am going to try the same combo except put it onto some sunflower seed pumpernicle (sp?) bread and eat it with a knife and fork. MMMMMM!

Making the decision to be healthy...

This afternoon I found myself with an hour to kill before picking Molly up from childcare (hallelujah!) so I wandered around DFO at Spencer Street window shopping.

This kind of an excursion would normally include a quick sweep of the foodcourt to see what calorie laden morsel I could sink my teeth into (blaming threethirtyitis for the binge). However, today as I was standing in front of DoughBoys gazing at the glazing, I made the decision to be a healthy person. Just for that moment- then I would deal with the next challenge next time one presented itself. It was just so easy- it was unemotional and it made sense. I had two options, I could eat a doughnut and decide to be unhealthy or I could bypass the sugary, heart-clogging bit of junkfood and make a choice that would ultimately make me feel powerful and strong.

Powerful is not a word I would use to describe myself when I'm in "The binge zone". I may have a powerful appetite and be able to plough through a lot of food- but I sure don't feel powerful. I feel controlled and manipulated, disgusting and weak. Those are not empowering words.

So instead of eating, I stopped and thought "what do you really feel like?" and went and got a small skim latte. It was just right.

Had a very down day yesterday....

Felt shitful yesterday... actually, it was mostly the afternoon and into the night.

I spent the day with Molly at Highpoint- which was nice, but we were there too long and there was a lot of stuff to do at home. John took the car key with him accidently so I was stuck on public transport while the car sat out the front of our house.

Anyway, we got our tax return and it was a decent amount so I decided it was time for a new pair of runners- considering the last time I bought runners was when I didn't even know I was preggers with Molly- just before the run for the kids (2005)... So I bought a pair of super comfy Nike Zoom. I had a lot of guilt buying shoes that were probably made by a poor little child in a sweatshop but then I looked around and decided they probably all were anyway. And I need some decent shoes if I am going to be running like I plan to. If anyone knows of any "no sweatshop" decent runners, please tell me and I will take them back and get a refund.

They are seriously like walking on air. It will take a few weeks for me to wear them in but I know they'll be great.

Anyway, when I got back from the shops I got a call from John who said he'd forgotten he booked a recording client last night so he'd be out from 7 till 11pm. I really wanted to get a workout in so I had to re-arrange my afternoon and go at 4:30 instead of after dinner with my friend. The workout was hard- I felt every ounce of resentment dragging my body down making me want to give up. I could barely lift my feet on the treadmill so I decided to do some heavy weights instead. I went pretty hard and tried to get my anger and frustration out that way. I then hopped back on the treadmill but only lasted 10 mins before I decided to give up and go home. I figure 20 mins cardio and 30 mins weights was enough for a day where I feel shitful.

So I got home and gave Molly dinner (creamy chicken and avocado pasta cooked by housemates- grrr undoing all my gym work- but I think it was evaporated milk so hopefully not as bad a cream), put her to bed and sat watching crappy tv on my own. I was just so close to tears all night- I am sure I am premenstrual but it was rediculous.

When john came home he made me a wheatbag and hot water bottle and a cup of chamomile tea as he felt really bad about having to go out on a designated "gym night"... He knows I need more time to myself than I have been getting. He's trying to work out ways to make it happen (ie. quitting his afternoon 3 day-a-week job at the school) which may work out if we are entitled to a bit more centrelink. We have worked out that he would get nearly as much in Austudy if he were to go full time (3 days at the moment) at uni as he does with his job. That would work out fine unless I fall pregnant again- in that case I'd need to get parenting payment too...wonder how much that'd be? Oh well, we'll deal witht that when we get to it.

Another three to finish!

Just submitted my registration for The Spring Into Shape Series!!

It's a bargain at $65 for 3 8km runs!

I hope to beat my time each run...

Weigh in today...

Scales said 87.3 today!

Probably coz I'm sick but I'll take it any way it comes!

Dying for a run!

Now that I shouldn't run I REALLY want to...

Hmm..

Do you think a little run would hinder my healing??

What about some weights??

Grr- Wednesday is my gym night and I have a regular gym buddy! It's been so long since I have had a gym buddy!!

Maybe I'll go and see how I feel.

But I might be contagious!

But I'm at work!

Oh well....

What's worse than a bad case of DOMS?

... a bad case of DOMS while you have tonsilitis!

My skin and body are so achey and I can't eat anything with any texture!

Grrr...

Did a good workout on Sunday- hence the muscle soreness...


Molly has spots- a virus that is going through her childcare...

Blaaaahhhh!

Decided to keep a food diary online again...

I will put a link in my sidebar if you fancy taking a peek- I don't want to bore people on here with it but would like a place to be accountible.

Feeling surprisingly fine!

Ha ha!

A little embarrassed looking at that last post! But have decided to leave it there as a couple of you have told me to... It could've been worse! Ha ha!!

I felt a little giddy this morning but totally fine. We have John's mum's birthday party thingy tonight and I can be sure I'll wish I were in bed instead of there at about 9pm!

John took me out for breakfast this morning as he doesn't feel like we have seen enough of each other recently. Probably true. We shared a egg and bacon pide and I had a taste of his buttermilk pancakes... Molly was so excited to have a babycino! I also had a yummy apple, carrot, celery and beetroot juice. Felt like I needed vitamin concentrate!

My baby bro gets home from his 6 month adventure to south and north america. He wont know what to do with himself but I have missed him a lot. Even Molly has been saying "ucle David on Sat-a-day!"

Yay!

Day 3 of week 1

Yesterday I ate to plan- apart from a few jellybeans, and my calories were around 1650 which is right where I want to be at the moment.

I made a delicious dinner- bean and veggie chilli over a baked potato and 1/4 baked sweet potato. I was planning to have that for lunch today over rice but left it on the bench, so I guess lucky John will get to eat it! So I have a heinz very vegetable soup for lunch today- it wont fill me up and I'll be hungry later- but it's my only option and it's better than KFC!

I didn't run! After all my blowing on yesterday, I didn't do it!! It was pelting down with rain and, while I could have been brave and just done it- I didn't want to... I ran pretty hard at netball though..

So- here's to today!

The plan is to go to the gym tonight after community dinner.

I also plan to go out to the shops with Molly before dinner as the afternoons at home are very dangerous for me. It is when I want to eat 5 pieces of toast with peanut butter (not that I ever eat that much- but the desire is there!) It's not even junk food I crave, just carbs- I know it's a blood sugar thing but I need to come up with other things to help me- like a nice trip to the shops!

I might pop back later and post some more- feeling very bloggy today!

Spoze I'd better update.... day 2 - week 1

After a less than pleasant week-and-a-bit, I'm back on track.

I did no running last week but did PT, Netball and Community Fitness- so three sessions is better than none, right?!

But I SOOOOO want to be a runner that I simply must get back on track.... today! So after work today I will put on my neatly packed (ie. shoved in my bag) running gear and head off for a lap or two of Princess Park before I pick Molly up from childcare.

I have entered the Runner's World Magazine "RIO- Run It Off" Challenge.

Today is day 2 - week 1...

There are fairly loose guidelines for this challenge, you simply send a photo holding a newspaper, you know the deal- pick a start date and a race date 12 weeks ahead and go for it! You take your weight and measurements. I am going to weigh and measure every 2 weeks.

My race date is November 16th- the 3rd Spring into shape 8km run.

This is timely as there is now only 12 weeks until my birthday- wouldn't it be the perfect birthday present to get into the 70s?!!

So, Here's my starting stats;

Weight: Still 88-89kgs
Goal for challenge: In the 70s!
Waist: 98cm
Bust: 107cm
Thigh: 60cm

I aim to keep my calories between 1500 and 1800 per day.

Today's food looks like this.
b. very yummy 1/2 cup porridge with almonds, starwberries, skim milk, honey
s. yoghurt
l. 1 tortilla with spicy mince and bean mix
s. apple, banana
d. beans with rice and veggies

Big videos...

Does anyone know how to shrink video files... I have a few vids I want to share but they are too big.

Ta!

RE: Anon comment...

Hi again,

My doc has told me not to go rushing home accusing my hubby of being unfaithful from the hpv result as it is something that could have been sitting dormant in me for years- or I may have had it in my last smear test but she could have swabbed a different spot.

I have NO concerns about my husband!

HPV can also be transmitted from any skin contact. I have had wart viruses (hands, knees, feet) before and doc says there are studies being conducted at the moment about whether those viruses can transfer to STD type viruses...

Please, don't go anon- I am not worried about comments or peoples opinions.

Just for the record... I have only had one sexual partner and so has John... go figure?!

You can tie it in a knot, you can tie it in a bow!

You know something?!

I just realised that I no longer notice my body swinging to and fro when I run! I know I still have quite a bit of fat to lose however I am not distracted by my tummy and boobs going up, down and waving all around any more!!

I remember writing a post when I did the Spring into Shape 4km run last year saying that I needed a body bra- well, I don’t think I do any more!!

Hoorah!

Doctors appointment...

Hi all,

Thank you for your support!

The doctor’s appointment was ok. It is HPV- eww! Very common, but not nice.

I need to go back for another test in 12 months as it may clear up by itself within that time.

If it hasn’t they will need to treat it as 70% of cases (of certain strains of the virus) lead to cervical cancer if not treated (over many years).. It's worth monitoring it!

So it’s good news, annoying… but good..

Some pics from the run...

Me in my new running top!




Me with all the other lovely running ladies!

All smiles after another good run!

Look I am getting dimples again!

Another run to cross of the checklist!!





I finished in about the same time as I did last week but this week it felt much harder. This is probably due to 3 factors.





1) I am sore from PT


2) It is TTOM and it hurts!


3) My mind kept wandering to tomorrow's doctors appointment.





It really took a long time to get into my groove this morning. It wasn't till the 2nd lap of Albert Park that it started to feel easier. I had to tell myself to keep going when I ran PAST the finish like for the 5k race... But it feels great to have done it! I finished 100 or so metres in front of the lady who finished after me last week... she crossed the line saying "I'll get you one of these days!" Very funny! But she's entered in the Sandy Point Half Marathon in 3 weeks time... I don't think I'm up to it yet but it wont be long!

I can't let myself slack off this week! It is easy to fall in a heap after a run and find yourself at the next weekend again having done no exercise- easy to fall out of the groove!

So here's the Plan!

Monday- Gym- weights
Tuesday- Netball
Wednesday- Gym- weights
Thursday- running
Friday- PT
Saturday- Community Group Fitness

The next run I am doing is the 1st of the Anlene Spring Into Shape series... BRING IT ON!!

Push-ups, food and planning

Earlier this year I couldn't do one pushup on my toes... today in PT I did 7 on my toes and another 30 on my knees!!

I worked really hard in PT today- I nearly didn't go as I was feeling pretty crappy after hearing from the doc. But I thought to myself "why don't you wanna go?!" and realised that it was all emotional and I just needed to get on with it. So I went- and worked bloody hard..

My shoulder muscles are getting more defined.. I love it!

Todays PT went something like this.
skipping with a rope to warm up
step ups with 5kg weights x3
squats with 5kg weights x3
lunges with back leg on step and 5kg weights x3
pushups on step x3
bench press x3
plank x3
plank tricep lifts with 5kg weights x3
side planks x3

I'm going to be sore- I doubt I'll beat my 10km time this Sunday as I'll be hobbling around in pain..

There is still a chance to come on down to Albert Park this Sunday morning for the Queen of the Lake 5 or 10k run. You can register at 8am on the day. Please let me know if you're coming and would like to meet up.. I have bought a pretty green running shirt for the occasion!

Eats weren't that good today- too many "treats" and not planned meals. Breakfast and dinner were good- an egg on toast for brk and japanese dumpling soup for dinner... lunch was just snacky bits and pieces of food from about 10:30 to 2:30...

Tomorrow is Saturday, often a day where I have trouble staying on track. So here's the plan.

9:30 community fitness class

b. porridge with honey, and skim milk and a protein shake
s. almonds and fruit
l. chicken and salad sandwich
s. fruit and yoghurt
d. meat and veg
s. yoghurt or shake (if hungry)

Better be heading to bed... have had an exhausting day.

"minor changes in pap smear"

I have to go to see my doctor on Monday as my recent pap smear has picked up some minor changes...

I'm freaking out a bit...

She said it wasn't urgent but that she would like to speak to me and she needed to go more in depth than she can go over the phone...

I haven't told my family (John and my household know) as I don't want to worry them but I needed to vent, so here I am!

PLease send me some prayers!

Or I can wear it parted like this.....

Hair!